Monday 

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities!

Without a humble but reasonable confidence

In your own powers you cannot be

successful and happy.”

Norman Vincent Peale

It is now time, more than ever before to! FOCUS on what you like about your life. Think about what you would like increased in your life. Don’t focus on the negativity of the past or on what you don’t have. Think of what you enjoy and what you desire. Be thankful for what you have now, even though you may feel like you don’t have enough love, money, time, etc. Be grateful for what you do have and see yourself as having more.

If you want more love, be more loving. If you want more time, be more relaxed and enjoy the time you have. If you want more money, enjoy the money you have and always trust that you will have more than enough to meet your needs.

The past can be a source of entertainment. It can also show us certain recurrent patterns in ourselves. The important thing to focus on is what am I doing with my life NOW? How can this knowledge of the past (whether past lives or childhood) help me be a better person and live a happier and more fulfilled life NOW?

 Part 1 

If I had my time again I would have adopted some powerfully positive, proactive practices into my life and the lives of my Children  -  but the past is past and now I feel I am privileged to be able to see things in a new light.  I have, throughout my journey, gained more and more wisdom about respecting  the thoughts and feelings of others and have become consumed by what CAN make a difference !!!!

As we embark on the journey of Parenthood we have given to us a responsibility not to be taken lightly. .  We need to learn positive qualities and respect each person as a soul.  We have all come to here to learn from each other.  When it is loved ones, it can be a bit up hill.  Our ultimate aim is to achieve harmony and peace inside us and carry it out into our family.

In teaching your children all those good qualities mentioned before, you will finally have a mature adult who respects and loves him or herself, and will do the same for you and others and our planet.

Train your children to look inside for their information.  It is all inside us.  We must learn to tap into our source to find our own power to just be.

Your children learn by your example.  When you give them understanding they see that life is no big deal.  The way to bring up your children is by being an example to them.  Be yourself always and allow your children to be themselves as well.  If they see that you always discern a problem without making a fuss about it or make a “Federal case” out of things, they will learn to do the same.  When you are cool and calm, you learn from every situation, and you know there is always a solution.

Understand that children are old souls in new bodies.  Therefore they do understand you.  They always need explanations of your actions towards them.  For instance, if you say, “Get out of here,” without telling them why, the experience will create the fear of rejection in them.  They will then do things for everybody else just to be accepted all their life.

Always be consistent and children will know what to expect of you.  It is better to be a consistently “bad” parent than to be inconsistent.  One way one day and another the next will send the child into total confusion.

From the time your child is born you need to show that baby you that you are in charge.  When you enforce your guidelines consistently with room to grow, you will not need harsh discipline later in life.  It is your house and your rules that are to be abided by while the child is here to learn from you.

Speak to your children as a soul.  Do not speak down to them.  Remember how it feels to be little and how big a person looks to them.  If you respect them, they will respect you.

More Tips in Part 2       Coming soon

Part 2

When giving a suggestion to your children make sure that they do not assume that it is a command.  You usually want the best for them but they could take it the wrong way, just by the tone of your voice.  Tell them it is only a suggestion and not a command, if that is what you want, then you will not meet with hostility.

When giving a suggestion to your children make sure that they do not assume that it is a command.  You usually want the best for them but they could take it the wrong way, just by the tone of your voice.  Tell them it is only a suggestion and not a command, if that is what you want, then you will not meet with hostility.

Children will not always do what you like because they need to experience things for themselves.  When that happens express you love for them but say that you do not like their actions.  Never say that you do not love them.  It is only what they have done that you do not love.

If you see something that you do not like your children doing, stand back and see what you are doing or have done that may have caused them to do what they are doing.  Think before you blame.

You most probably are bringing up your children in the same manner as your parents did, and their parents did, because that is what you have learned.  Once you have become “Soul Conscious” you will want to change you attitude towards disciplining your children.  Being seen and not heard does not help children to learn to communicate.

As adults our perception of love comes from out own childhood and how we experienced it when we were just feelings in our first seven years.  If your father was away most of the time earning money, you think that is normal when you get married.  You push a man away who is giving you too much loving attention because that is not love as you know it.

Make sure your children are given as much love as you can possibly give them.  They will thrive on it.

As adults our perception of love comes from out own childhood and how we experienced it when we were just feelings in our first seven years.  If your father was away most of the time earning money, you think that is normal when you get married.  You push a man away who is giving you too much loving attention because that is not love as you know it.

Make sure your children are given as much love as you can possibly give them.  They will thrive on it.

You are being inconsiderate to your children if you are doing too much for them and not teaching them to do for themselves.  You are taking away their opportunity to learn and grow, and it makes them weak.  They will become dependent on you and they will dislike you for it.

Discipline your children with boundaries so they know how far they can go.  Let these boundaries out gradually as they grow.  Children fell secure with boundaries.  They stop them from being confused.  Be consistent with your boundaries and keep them enforced until they are old enough to make their own.  They will do this if they have lived by yours and have gained respect for themselves and others.

Give children responsibility so they can feel successful.  Having responsibility also gives them a feeling of being worthwhile.  Responsibility can mean to be in charge, and they need to learn to be in charge of their own lives.  This stops them having thoughts that they are unworthy.  Make sure they are not living by yours or other people’s responsibility, only by their own.

Give your children positive guidelines by setting them a good example.  That is by loving yourself.  This is what gives you inner strength and you want your children to have the same.  So do it and they will follow.

Being overly “mothered” is as bad for the child as being neglected.

Give your children positive guidelines by setting them a good example.  That is by loving yourself.  This is what gives you inner strength and you want your children to have the same.  So do it and they will follow.

Children from 0 to 7 years never hold grudges.  They can be spanked and mistreated by a parent and they will very quickly give that parent a big hug as though nothing has happened.  I call this recycling their love and we can learn from them.  At that age they are always in their feelings and simply being themselves.  When something adverse happens too them they just get back to loving again.

Children from 0 to 7 years never hold grudges.  They can be spanked and mistreated by a parent and they will very quickly give that parent a big hug as though nothing has happened.  I call this recycling their love and we can learn from them.  At that age they are always in their feelings and simply being themselves.  When something adverse happens too them they just get back to loving again.

Your children mainly get sick because parents are inconsiderate to them.  They do it to make the parents suffer.  It is their way of rebelling.  They do not realise that in doing this, they are the ones being hurt.

Listen to your children’s feelings and learn from them how to get back into your own true feelings.  See the elf in S-elf, and put some fun in your life.

Adults hold on to grudges, want revenge and want to keep retaliating, with never a thought for forgiveness.  This all eats into your bones and bodies and that is how your sickness begins.

Part3  coming up soon

The Key to Mastering the Law of Attraction is Responsibility.

The ultimate responsibility for how your life turns out rests with you and you alone… not with your parents, your boss, your ex, your society, God, or anyone else.  You can blame whomever you wish, but you’re the one who must experience (or endure) the results.

The Law of Attraction brings you what you think about.  To think is to ask.  Every thought is an intention.  The Law of Attraction is totally neutral — it doesn’t filter what you ask for.  If you think about what you want, you get it.  If you think about what you don’t want, you get that too.

The key to mastering the Law of Attraction is responsibility.  You must accept personal responsibility for everything in your life.  And I do mean everything.  If you perceive it, you’ve manifested it.  Whatever you give your attention to will expand.

By assuming responsibility for creating my reality, I also assume the power to change it.  I can consciously put more energy into thinking about what I do want.  Some of those negative thoughts will still pop into my mind, but I can drown them out with positive alternatives

If you’re determined to think about what you don’t want, I certainly can’t stop you.  The best I can do is to hold you accountable for your results, which can help you become more aware of what you’re doing to yourself. Only you can save you.

At one stage of my life the skeptical part of my brain had trouble believing reality could actually work like this.  It requires a new model of reality in which the Law of Attraction makes sense.  Consequently, I’ve had to make major adjustments to my beliefs to compensate for the Law of Attraction.  This led me towards a more subjective view of reality, which eventually became my default way of thinking.

What if I deny responsibility for what I experience?  What if I say, “Something or someone out there is causing these problems”, it is then, I’m powerless to change my reality.  If I focus my thoughts on what I’m already getting, I’ll unknowingly activate the Law of Attraction to continue bringing me more of the same.

One of the reasons I’m so happy and passionate about my life is that I’m getting better at aligning myself with the Law of Attraction.  As I think about what I want, I keep wondering when it’s going to show up.  When I try to control how it comes to me, I usually block it.  But when I relax and allow it to happen, that’s when it finally begins showing up.  The right people, resources, and opportunities somehow find me, usually through unexpected synchronicities.

By assuming responsibility for creating my reality, I also assume the power to change it.  I can consciously put more energy into thinking about what I do want. Some of those negative thoughts will still pop into my mind, every now and then, but I can drown them out with positive alternatives.

The Law of Attraction works 24/7 in all areas of our lives

The key to mastering the Law of Attraction is responsibility

for our thoughts, feelings and actions.

These are my thoughts please feel free to add your thoughts below

To Part 4 of 5…to be added next week,

so I will see you then

     Setting Personal Boundaries – protecting self

The purpose of having boundaries is to protect and take care of ourselves. We need to be able to tell other people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to us. A first step is starting to know that we have a right to protect and defend ourselves.

We have not only the right, but the
duty to take responsibility for how
we allow others to treat us.

It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who has no boundaries, with someone who cannot communicate directly, and honestly. Learning how to set boundaries is a necessary step in learning to be a friend to ourselves. It is our responsibility to take care of ourselves – to protect ourselves when it is necessary.

Boundaries are about the emotional and physical space that we place between ourselves and others. Setting proper boundaries is important to our mental and emotional health. When appropriate boundaries are not set, we run the risk of becoming either too detached from or too dependent upon others.

It is impossible to learn to be loving to ourselves without owning our self – and owning our rights and responsibilities as co-creators of our lives. If we want to be loved, we need to be loving toward self and toward others. Once we start having a more loving relationship with ourselves, everything changes.

Setting boundaries is not a more sophisticated way of manipulation – although some people will say they are setting boundaries, when in fact they are attempting to manipulate. The difference between setting a boundary in a healthy way and manipulating is: when we set a boundary we let go of the outcome.
Maybe this is a good opportunity for me to explain boundaries versus manipulation, so I will do it in a personal way so that you can understand it clearly.
I, (for whatever reasons) decided that I wanted to set a boundary around my evening meal, so then my husband had a choice to make. Other scenarios could have been:
1.    Dinner will be at 6pm  (my boundary)
2.    Dinner will be at 6pm and if you are not here, it will go in the bin (manipulation)
3.    Dinner will be on the table at 6pm because you (blaming)
We ultimately discussed the problem and came up with a win/win solution

In order for new healthy boundaries to become our new reality,

1. We need to accept and take responsibility, to change what we can change
2. We need to take responsibility for our behaviors and emotions.
3. We need to let go of blaming others
4. We need to go within and allow the healing to begin

Emotions do not define us, they are a form of internal communication that help us to understand ourselves, and are a vital part of our being – as a component of the whole. Owning the feeling gives us the opportunity of choice and change, and allows us to get in touch with the source of these feelings. By stating the feeling out loud, not only are we affirming that we have a right to feelings – we are affirming that the feeling exists within ourselves, allowing us to take responsibility for owning self, our reality, our choices and our responsibilities in our journey of learning and growth

It is vitally important

1. To own your own voice
2. To own your right to speak up for yourself.

It is OK to say NO

Changing our relationship with ourselves is
vital to making any long term changes
in our relationships with others.

These are my thoughts please feel free to add your thoughts below

To Part 3 of 5…to be added next week,
so I will see you then

Part 1 of 5

Personal responsibility is the freedom to create our own lives

Part 1 of 5…… Personal Responsibility & Freedom

Part 2 of 5….. Personal Responsibility and Boundaries

Part3 of 5…… Personal Responsibility and the Law of Attraction

Part 4 of 5….. Personal Responsibility and Blame

Part 5 0f 5….. Personal Responsibility in Listening & Honesty

When we take responsibility, we admit we are the ones responsible for the choices we make. We attract to ourselves an experience, which we make a choice about. It is all about staying committed to our choices, and staying flexible to our approach and outcomes

Let’s get personal and talk about you for a moment. Are you perfectly happy with the way things are at this time, or do you wish things were better? Chances are you are neither perfectly happy nor completely unhappy, for most of us lie somewhere between both extremes. However, if you’re not totally satisfied, what are you doing about it? If you continue to do the same things, everything will remain the same. Nothing will change until you do.

It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibility. No body ever did, or ever will escape the consequences of their choices – this is called learning, and an opportunity to raise our vibration empowers us, when we acknowledge the learning behind the lesson

When we take responsibility, we admit we are the ones responsible for the choices we make. We, not other people or events, are responsible for the way we think and feel. It is our life, and we are in charge of it. We are free to enjoy it or disdain it. No, we are not responsible for all that happens to us, but we are responsible for how we think, feel, and act when the consequences of our choice are presented to us.

We all must learn to take personal responsibility – in most cases we cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but we can change ourselves and more importantly change the habitual thinking associated with the way we live our lives

If you believe that things or people make you unhappy, you are looking outside of yourself, for someone or something to blame. If you are unhappy, you make yourself unhappy – your unhappiness is a choice that you make for yourself, it comes from within you and what you are seeing from the outside is a mirror – an opportunity to “Tap” into the emotion that has presenting itself to be healed

One of the first ‘people’ we greet each morning is our reflection in the mirror. Don’t we want to be accountable, answerable, and responsible for the life we are creating for it? By accepting that responsibility, we unleash great power and transform ourselves. It may be convenient for a caterpillar to have so many legs, but it remains earthbound. It is far better to make a dramatic change and transform ourselves like a butterfly, so we can take flight and explore a new world.

Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, and opportunities to give back, by  embracing a journey of learning and growth, and by taking responsibility for our own personal freedom

These are my thoughts please feel free to add your thoughts below

To Part 2 of 5… be added next week,

so I will see you then

Blame is projecting onto others, (pointing the finger at) what

we have attracted into our lives for our  growth and learning

So what is blame?

• Blame is victim-hood.
• Blame is projecting onto others and avoiding the learning
• Blame is avoidance of accountability
• Blame is giving your free will and personal responsibility away to someone or something else.

Our western laws are set up with this victim mentality, but that does not mean it’s the truth. The truth is that we are responsible for our thoughts, feelings, and actions in the world and there is no room for blaming in that equation. The idea of taking personal  responsibility for our thoughts, feelings & actions in response to any given situation is the most empowering , pro-active perspective we can have. It takes us immediately from the victim mode to the creator mode.

When you truly understand that the world outside of you is a reflection of the world inside of you, you may react with confusion about who is to blame for the problems in your life. If you had a tumultuous and difficult childhood, you may question the validity or soundness of taking responsibility for everything you have experienced. Furthermore, the same question arises for your current relationships.

We intuitively know that blaming others is the opposite of taking responsibility, but you may not understand how to take responsibility for that which you do not truly believe you are responsible for creating. You can blame your parents for your low self-esteem, etc. and you can blame your current partner for exacerbating it with his/her inconsiderate or lackadaisical behavior. This is the well-worn modus operandi of many people–albeit resolution to an issue is impossible. Albert Einstein’s statement, on insanity is

“Doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results,”

What you avoid taking responsibility for, is out of your control.

The fly in the ointment lies with the avoidance of taking responsibility for your life here and now. Whether you blame others or blame yourself, it is an aggressive and unkind act against oneself. It sets up a situation in which it becomes difficult, if not impossible, to move beyond the burdensome feelings of blame, shame and guilt that rest below the surface of consciousness–only to pop up when triggered by a similar experience. It also puts the resolution of your emotional pain into the hands of someone else rather than yourself. Ultimately, you cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for your feelings or actions, only you can make that choice when you are ready. Meanwhile, if you want to move forward with your life you need to accept personal responsibility for your life and take all situations into your hands.

Who is better at solving the puzzles of your journey, this lifetime

THAN YOU ?

The most important step in taking full responsibility of one’s journey is to forgive those whom one blames–parents, partner, friends, colleagues, and all others.

“ Forgiveness is the key to happiness”

Gerald Jampolsky

author, of

“Love Is Letting Go of Fear.”

You can have the courage to end an abusive relationship with a partner, who may never admit wrong doing, because you are willing to take personal responsibility for how you allow yourself to be treated.

The bottom line is–love yourself enough to take responsibility for how you think, feel and behave. You deserve to love, be loved and create the life you know you deserve. Leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against you in the hands of the universe, releasing yourself to live life free of blame, shame and guilt.

These are my thoughts, please add your comments below